From Broken Pieces to a Beautiful Masterpiece: Joseph's Story

In this deeply moving episode, we explore the journey from a childhood defined by abandonment and an orphan spirit to a life of profound purpose and faith. Our guest shares the raw reality of growing up in a broken home, a cycle that led to a rabbit hole of dysfunction and eventually, the ultimate test of any parent's strength: the loss of a child.

After the passing of their firstborn daughter, Dezirae, who was born with Spina Bifida, the grief felt insurmountable. For two years, the pain was suppressed and drowned out by the world—until a glimpse of hope in his wife’s eyes led him to a mountain retreat that changed everything.

This is a story about the "Fishers of Men" call, the healing of deep-seated anxiety and depression, and the unwavering truth that God takes our most broken pieces to create a masterpiece. If you are currently walking through the valley of grief or feeling like a "broken kid" regardless of your age, this episode is a reminder that there is a living hope waiting for you.

Key Highlights

• The Orphan Spirit: Navigating the identity of abandonment from preschool through adulthood.
• A Parent’s Hardest Walk: Choosing life after a Spina Bifida diagnosis and processing the loss of a child at four months old.
• The Turning Point: How a skeptical trip to a mountain retreat led to a literal altar call moment of deliverance.
• Beauty from Ashes: Comparing the journey to the life of King David—finding fruitfulness and joy after a season of deep sin and loss.
• The Promise of Reunion: The hope of seeing Desiree again and the strength found in Romans 8:28.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey, my name is Jason. I'm with Spirit, and I just want to say thank you to those who supported us through a fundraiser a couple weeks ago. Um, had an amazing turnout. So many stories of those who have just been um touched by God and had seen God move in their family, in their lives. And uh we get the opportunity to hear those stories, hear those prayers. So we just want to say thank you. And um, it's been a few weeks, and we're getting back up on the train, getting ready to uh re-record a couple of stories. Today we have Joseph, and Joseph, thanks for chance spending some time with us. And um you're gonna be our first story of hope after a couple of weeks, and uh, I'm super excited for what God has in store for us today. And um, you're a pastor in this community, family man, um, husband, dad, all those things. And so um, yeah, thanks for spending some time and and carving some time out away from your family today.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Yeah, it's awesome to be here. And first and foremost, um, all glory to God. Yeah, uh, God has been amazing in my life. And just uh just to briefly expound on that, I I didn't grow up in the church. Yeah, um, I didn't grow up in a Christian household. My dad and and my mom, they they weren't believers, and and so for for a very young age, I kind of just went through life and you know, like that saying of handy down clothes, right? You know, you ever pass down clothes to to like your your cousins or um nieces and so forth, but that's kind of how I felt when I was a when I was a kid, because my mom and dad it was a broken family, right? And so I was always going to family member to family member, and that kind of like fostered this I like identity of like abandonment and like cultivated this this like this orphan spirit type of kid, right? And so you could imagine how as a child I was just going through doing the most, getting in trouble, not listening. Um, and I remember specifically uh it was around when I was in preschool. Um, I got upset at my aunt because I was living with my aunt at the time, and um I was I don't know what it was I was upset with, but I just stormed out the house and said, I'm not living here. I remember that was like a core memory in preschool. In preschool, and I remember that. And uh, but that was kind of like this like the the beginning of my story of this um broken kid, and I just love Jesus so much because he takes the most broken people and he makes them into this beautiful masterpiece, just like it says on my hat, Mosaic Church, and that's kind of our our core identity is like God's taking a bunch of broken people and just turning them into this beautiful worksmanship masterpiece, and so that's kind of our our core uh um you know view on our church, and but um nonetheless, when um uh when I was growing up, you know, I I started going down the uh this this rabbit hole of of dysfunction and hurt and pain. And and um and fast forward to 2010, I met my girlfriend, Brittany, who is my wife now, praise God. Um, but during that time, you know, I didn't know Jesus. Um she she knew of him but wasn't walking with him. And so we we were you know living a life of sin and we um were expecting a baby, right? And so we're we were excited, we're we're happy, we're we're young, you know, we love each other, and um, but nonetheless, we didn't have a living hope at that time, right? And so uh we found out early on that my my wife, my girlfriend at the time, um that the the baby had a uh birth defect, uh spinal uh spinal bifida. Wow. And so from early on, that was a challenge in 2010. That was a big challenge for us because um we didn't have Christ. I didn't know how to process that. I come from a broken family, and facing something like that, it was just like, whoa, what is going on here? What are we doing?

SPEAKER_02 3:49

You know?

SPEAKER_01 3:50

And so we obviously we chose the to to keep our our baby, Desiree, and um um she was born and um she went through emergency surgery, fixed the spine, and so forth, and but four months down the road, um, I got a call when I was at work and that she had passed away. And um, you could imagine in that scenario that that broke me even down even more. I was already a broken kid, I was already a broken man, and then to hear that my firstborn baby girl passed away was just something that just broke me even more, yeah, you know, and then so for two years um I I drowned my sorrow. I drowned it with you know the things of this world trying to fill a void that can only be filled by Jesus Christ, right? And so for two years I I did that, and then one day um my wife, who I got married to, even though in the midst of that, like we still stuck it out and ended up getting married. Wow, um, she started going to church. She started going to church, and uh I saw hope in her eyes, I saw joy in her eyes, and I was like, I want that. Yeah, you know, I I miss that because I don't have that. I have sorrow, yeah, I have pain, I have grief, and and like I said earlier, I can't I come from a dysfunctional family, so I never knew how to process grief to that magnitude, you know, and so I just suppressed it, right? And um, I saw her going to church and and I saw the joy of the Lord on her, and I was like, Well, I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna check that out. I'm gonna check that out too. And and lo and behold, I go and I'm I'm a little skeptical. I'm like, who's this Jesus guy? Like, um, I don't know about all this, but we go to a mountain retreat, and uh it was for like four days, and uh, you know, I went up that mountain broken. You know, I I it's either make or break, you know, like either something happens or I'm coming back down and it and I don't know what I'm gonna do. Yeah, you know, and so we went up this mountain, they did an altar call, and I remember just standing up, started weeping instantly. I don't know what I was saying or what was happening, but I just remember bawling, going all the way down to the to the altar, and and then a gentleman praying over me. And I and I I remember I let him have it, like because I was mad at God, I was upset, my daughter had passed away, all this stuff in my life, and it just all just came out. And in that moment, God met me, you know, and He sent me on mission. Actually, I just posted uh a Facebook post the uh the other day. I found the first material after that encounter with Jesus on the mountain. Um, I went down the mountain healed, delivered, no more anxiety, no more depression, uh and just fully set free and on fire for him. Yeah, and without not even knowing him. Uh, and so I found the first material of that Bible study, and I was just like, wow. And I remember it was kind of corny. Like I had a little picture in the front, it said fissures of men, and then like material in there, spiritual gifts inventory. And but I was just thinking back, like, God, you're so good. Like, even in the midst of of tragedy and um just your world falling apart, you know, even in grief, like he used that for his good, right? Just like it says in Romans 8 28, right? He he works all things for good um according to his purpose. And so yeah, I I believe he's still doing that today in many other people's lives. And if if any of you that are listening and you're you're processing grief, just know Jesus loves you and he's with you and he's never left you or forsake you.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

What um because at the time you were pregnant when neither of you were saved, or should your wife knew Jesus but in wasn't in a relationship with Jesus?

SPEAKER_01 7:47

No, we we didn't follow Jesus at that time.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

So what um what made you choose to keep Desiree?

SPEAKER_01 7:55

That's a good question. Uh, because I remember asking Brittany, like, um are we gonna keep our child or not because of this defect? And the the answer we got was like, of course, why would we even think about that? Like I don't know why it was just like this inner answer. And I I think obviously it was it was from God telling us, like, no, you don't want to do that, you know. Um but we I did ask that question, right? Because we found out very early on, and you know, sadly we do live in a day where that is a possibility, yeah. But I I I'm so grateful that we kept her and had the four months of life and got to enjoy that. And and now I have uh an eight-year-old boy, a six-year-old boy, and a two-year-old girl. Yeah, and and and it's just like that story of David, you know, like he he was in sin and they had a child in sin. Yeah, God took her, uh took the child, but he blessed them anyways, right? And he was still fruitful with children. So I totally resonate with with King David and what happened. Yeah, so obviously different context, right? But nonetheless, yeah, the the pain is real, the grief is real, the loss is real, yeah, and and God is real. So and he does amazing things with a lot of brokenness in this world. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

How old would Desiree be today?

SPEAKER_01 9:17

14.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

14. She would have been 14. Young lady. Young lady, yeah. You ever think about the day you get to meet her?

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Oh, all the time. Yeah. All the time. I look forward to it. It's and I know I'm gonna see her one day, and it's gonna be uh a great family reunion, and I can't I can't wait. Yeah, it's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

So when you think about that day that you found hope on the mountain, and you could convey that in a few sentences to somebody who's looking for hope today, what would you convey?

SPEAKER_01 9:50

I would say don't give up. Don't give up. I I know it's hard because of the things that you're processing and the things that you're facing, yeah. Um, but just know that the the the promises of the Bible are yes and amen, and that um he is for you and not against you. Um in this moment, if you're processing grief and you're in the middle of loss, give your life wholeheartedly to him. Give your life, surrender fully. You may say you know Jesus now, but when you're you're facing loss, it's a total different thing. It's kind of like there's these questions, there's these whys, there's these things of this anger, right? Um, but just know that God is for you, Jesus is for you, and um He wants a deeper relationship with you.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Yeah, Joseph, thank you. Yeah, appreciate you sharing your heart, sharing your story, and uh, I know it's gonna touch lives, and uh God's gonna be glorified through that, brother. So appreciate it. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Thanks for joining us. Follow the journey. Find us at My Spirit Radio on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok for more stories of hope. Do you have a God story? We would love to hear it. Head to spirit eight nine.com slash hope and share it with us. Links are in the show notes. Alright. I'll see you next time.