The Fathers Heart: Geoff's Story

In this deeply personal episode of the Stories of Hope podcast, host Forrest sits down with his longtime friend of over twenty years, Geoff, to discuss the raw reality of navigating life's most intense transitions.

 Geoff opens up about a year defined by the circle of life—starting with the profound grief of losing his 92-year-old father and ending with the immense joy of welcoming his first grandchild. He moves past the cliches to what it actually looks like to offer God your authentic self.

 Through the lens of the biblical story of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, Geoff explores the idea that God doesn't speak to shadows or pretenses; He meets us in our real, messy, and honest emotions. Whether you are currently walking through a season of loss or a season of new beginnings, this conversation is a beautiful reminder that our Father is simply waiting for us to grieve in His direction.

Key Highlights

• The Shift of the Covering: Geoff describes the surreal moment of saying goodbye to a lifelong leader and realizing the mantle of responsibility has now passed to him.
• Authenticity vs. Clichés: A candid look at why phrases like God has a plan aren't always what a grieving heart needs, and why God desires our honest pain over a polished performance.
• The Heart Whisperer: Understanding the Holy Spirit as the Comforter who knows exactly how to tend to our wounds.
• Legacy and Promise: How the birth of a grandchild served as a divine reminder of God’s faithfulness and the continuity of His story.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Alright. Yep. So this is another episode of the Stories of Fo podcast. And uh I'm Forrest. And I have my good friend Jeff with here with you today.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

I have a good friend.

SPEAKER_03 0:12

Of course.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Well, hey, awesome. I was I was in doubt until I got here this morning. Now I've learned something new.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

Yeah, we've I've been on tons of adventures with Jeff. We've traveled all over the place. Yes, we have. Done strange and silly things. Yes. I definitely uh attribute a lot of my development as a human, as a man, as an artist, as a Christian to you, sir. Really? So yeah, I appreciate your life and love experiences and things that you've given me and been with me on in so wow. Glad to glad to have you here today.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Likewise, man. It's been yeah, we've had some adventures all over the world, and we've seen um a lot of crazy, crazy things, but God has been over many years now. How I don't know how many years we've known each other. Oh man. At least 20 something. A couple of decades at least. Yeah. So yeah, and uh and all the changes in the ups and downs of life we've been present for for both of us.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Yeah, we were just talking earlier about how simple and easy your life has been to this point.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Yeah. Yeah, that's what's great about all the stories I can tell about God's faithfulness, all have really tightly, you know, wound up nice bows on the end of it. And everything is uh just calm and beautiful uh easy sailing for us.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

That wraps it up. Thanks for coming in. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Yeah, we could probably close in prayer now or something.

SPEAKER_03 1:40

Perfect. Somebody should pray for us. All right. So uh stories of hope.

unknown 1:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

That's what we're doing here. And uh hoping you got a good one for us. Let's just jump in.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Stories of hope. Yeah. Well, when you uh called me and and uh kind of uh laid out the the plan and and your theme, um I immediately started to take stock over my recent, like the last year of what's gone on in our my life personally, our family's life and our ministry's life. And and uh it's been a it's been a uh one of those years where um yeah, there's been some grief and there's some joy. It's like uh life deals you all kinds of uh things that you're not expecting at times, you know. Uh first half of the year for me uh was a little rough, actually, because um I come from a family of uh there were seven boys in my family. I'm the sixth of seven, and uh great parents. My parents um came really to understand God's love for them personally and make, you know, made a decision to follow him when they were teenagers. And so my whole life growing up was uh really immersed in God's story. Um my mom and my dad were very keen on uh teaching us how to trust him no matter what, you know. And uh, and so I have a long, you know, my whole life is full of God's uh it's like uh I kind of see him at times sort of like he's taking the pen out of my hand from writing my own story and you know, uh letting him have the pen and write his own storyline in mine. And he's been really faithful in so many in the highs and lows of life. But this year in particular uh was tough. Um uh my dad uh took ill about a year and a half ago, and in March, March 5th, actually, uh we said goodbye to him. And uh I was able to spend several weeks with him before that, and and uh he was a guy, he was 92 years old when he when he passed away, and he um worked all his life, loved fiercely, he was a bit of a legend in uh in our family, and um had no intent intention of dying. Um in fact, about a week before he passed away, he said to one of my brothers, I just I just can't be dying right now. I've got too much to do, you know. And so uh he was like he was fighting it, you know, going all the way to the end. But then at the end, in the hospital room, you know, and if anybody's had this experience, it's surreal, actually, you know, someone who has been a leader in your life your whole time, your whole life, really, from the beginning till now. Always being that reliable source, being a place to go for wisdom or for guidance or or even to just know he's there, you know, to know your your parent is there, you know. Yeah, and so um yeah. I was with him, it was just the two of us holding his hand, stroking his face. We prayed together, we listened to worship music together, and um I just had to tell him, Dad, it's okay for you to go, you know. And um I don't know, it's like there's nothing that can prepare you for those kinds of moments where you know you can talk about it ahead of time, you can have all the plans, you can have your will written, you could have all of everything said and done that has to be said and done, and yet that moment when you actually have to say goodbye and and uh and then trust what you don't know and can't see to actually take place, like to let go of him and to and for him to let go and say, Okay, I've I've run my lap in this you know race, and to watch him say, Okay, you know. Once I I said, Dad, you can go, you're you're we're gonna be okay. We love each other, you taught us how to take care of one another, we're gonna be fine, and I'm saying all the things, and yet when he leaves, it's the last breath, you know. It's just I don't know what it is. It's just this immediate shift in your soul, and where it's it's like it's like it's kind of like maybe I could describe it this way it's kind of like all your life you've felt like there's a covering over you, and then that covering leaves. And it it was this moment when not only did I feel like I lost that cover that he gave me, but I myself began to realize I was I was having to be the cover now, you know, I was having to step into his role. Anyway, I I um I found very quickly that my role in the family shifted, all my brothers' roles in the family shifted. We had to take care of real life things, and um we grieved. We grieved hard. It was a it was a it was a big loss for us. And um, you know, feeling the responsibility of leading my family and uh the shift in all my brothers, like who takes the lead for this and who's you know, everybody is feeling their way through it, you know. And uh I felt like for a while there I needed to be strong for everybody else and have the wise thing to say or the helpful thing to say or to know what to do. But when that happens, when grief kind of hits you like that, it's like I I I didn't know what to do. And there were lots of nights when I would just lie in bed and look at the ceiling in the dark and think, I can't, I don't know, I don't know what, I don't know how to handle this. Um and you know, in our I don't know if it's a cultural thing or a religious cultural thing or how that really works, but there's um there's these things that we can sometime sometimes try to do to help each other, cliches like, well, he's in a better place, or um, you know, God's uh God's got a plan and all the things that that we say to try to comfort one another, but the truth is we can't comfort we can the honest truth of it is we're grieving and and we've lost something that's really important to us and that we've relied on, you know. Um I've learned, I guess, over the years uh that eventually this is where I come back to, I I find myself um um I find myself being called really I listening to the when I when I settle down I and really listen to what my father who loves me dearly wants to say to me. Um he wants me to give him where I really am. And I guess that's one of the things that I'm learning this year about that is he wants my authentic self. He doesn't want me to pretend, he doesn't want me to uh act like it isn't important what's happened isn't important or that it doesn't cut deep in my soul. Uh he wants me to get it out to actually say to him I'm I'm grieving. I think about that story, you know, with Mary and Martha after Lazarus died, you know, and uh everybody was handling it in different ways, you know. They had pretty actually professional grievers probably there, you know, doing the whole thing. And when Jesus comes, um when he could have come earlier, you know, and he was delayed and he got there after Lazarus dies. And yeah, Mary is just grief-stricken. She says to him, 'You know, if only you'd been here, you know. And Jesus, knowing he's gonna actually change the whole storyline and actually call Lazarus back to life, but he sits with her underground and he actually griefs with her, he weeps with her. And I um I have this year in my grieving, have really heard the call of God to give him my authentic self where I really am in this moment, and not to pretend. Um there's this quote that I probably will mess up from Thomas Merton. Uh he talks about he was I think he was talking about when God seems silent, and um he was saying that God doesn't speak to shadows, he speaks to our authentic self. If we are pretending, if we are trying to cover and pretend that things are okay, um uh it it's kinda he's not he really wants us to give him our authentic, our real grief, our real thing. And so I I began to do that and sit with him and and cry it out. And grief is that kind of a weird kind of a thing. It comes and comes and goes, sometimes it hits hard and spontaneously, you know. But I uh yeah, I um I found him meeting me there and comforting me and giving me uh really moments where uh he invited me to trust him with what I needed to do to to move on from here, you know. So that was the first half of the year. The second half of the year, then we we had our first grandchild, and and it was just this j surreal moment where this giant moment of loss and then this holding in my arms the promise of legacy and what's beyond even what we're gonna live to know, you know. So to me, it was kind of this promise of yeah, this um the circle of life, you know, God has us here, he has all of our days numbered, and when it's time for us to move on, he has the promise of the future, like right here, right now. And so at the beginning of last year, I lost my dad. There was moments of great grief. In the back half of the year, we welcomed our first grandchild, and all of the range of emotions that went on that in that brief season of time. I guess I have learned that God is asking me for my authenticity, my true heart self. Like what is really going on in your heart? And give me, if it's grief, give me that. Let me speak into that, let me hold you in that moment. And if it's joy, let me celebrate that with you. And just give me your honesty. That's what I really want. My your honest Your honest prayer, your honest words. And in the moments when you don't have words, just groan my direction, like grieve my direction. Celebrate my direction, like give me what you really have because I want to give you what I really have for you. Well said, sir. I don't know, maybe it is. I'm sure on my drive home I'll of course even say it better to myself. Send us a voice note and we'll exactly.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Could you just like why don't you use this instead?

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Yeah, as as you were just talking, I just had saw the picture of somebody, like a kid, or you know, the the way like they're desperately crying, it's just kind of like pulling themselves, putting their hands up, pulling themselves towards the father or towards their dad, you know, yeah, getting picked up and getting held and being like, hey, she's gonna be all right.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

And uh, that feels that feels nice.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

Yeah. That's a great picture of who that is.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Back when Trevor was like four years old. Uh Jill had been running errands with them, and he got out of the VW van, walked around the back and saw the tailpipe. And he put his hand on it. It was a round circle. He put his hand on it, and that thing burnt this round circle in the palm of his hand, and he completely lost his mind. Like he screamed in pain. And I was not uh I was not there. So Jill took him and took care, like did all the things for Byrne, and but he was he just could not be consoled, right? He was didn't matter if he he didn't want to be held, didn't want to be and she said, Son, I d uh like let me hold you. Oh, I just want dad. Yeah, he was just screaming, Where's dad? Where's that? So then when I finally walked through the door he just came over to me and I picked him up and I held him and he began to comp and he stopped crying and he just leaned into my chest. And that's I think a picture of what God is longing to be for us. Yeah, he's just longing to be for us, he knows we do stupid things that cause injury, right? Yeah, that wound us, and it's not imagined. Like those the wounds that we carry are real, the stuff that we carry around our hearts are real, but he knows how we're made, he knows how to heal.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

And there's definitely something in us. Uh, my boys do a very similar thing. They want their mom for most things in life, but when they're hurt, yeah, they want their dad.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's this it's a team. It's yeah, it's a it's a a powerful thing. And when you think about, you know, how God has um uh come to us as the father, the son, and the holy spirit, it's it's very familial, you know. Yep, it's the father, the son, and it's like the the Holy Spirit is called the comforter, you know. I don't know what your mom was like, but my mom, man, it was just in her. Like she just that's where you went to get comfort, and you know, the the healing stuff on whatever, you know. It's like the Holy Spirit is this heart whisperer. It's like for us, you know, who knows what to do and what to say.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Well, hey, thanks for coming in, Jeff. This has been a real joy. Um I could have sat here and talked for another hour. Yeah. And we should see that later, anyways.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Yeah, exactly. This is kind of like what we normally do when we're together yakking anyway. So it's awesome, man. It's great, great to see.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Randomramblings.com.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Yes. Exactly. Just be ready to take some time for a while.

SPEAKER_03 18:59

Thanks for joining us. Follow the journey. Find us at MySpirit Radio on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok for more stories of hope. Do you have a God story? We would love to hear it. Head to spirit89.com and click on the Stories of Hope Manager and share it with us. Links are in the show notes. Alright, I'll see you next time.